tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.comments2023-10-31T06:42:09.324-07:00GIVING NOTICE NOWJennifer Campaniolohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01584812688202324497noreply@blogger.comBlogger219125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-91650297255616483142013-08-10T12:38:53.755-07:002013-08-10T12:38:53.755-07:00"Some over-zealous parents (usually mothers, ..."Some over-zealous parents (usually mothers, but sometimes dads) feel the need to defend parenthood as the most self-sacrificing and meaningful decision an adult can make. They accuse the child-free of being selfish and immature and put fear in their hearts about missing out on life and growing old and lonely. Meanwhile, defensive non-parents accuse parents of being egomaniacs who are just looking to replicate their wonderful genes. Or that parents are pod people who can only talk about their children's accomplishments." <br /><br />I have known a few people/couples that almost fit the parent stereotype to a T. Nearly everything is about their children and their nuclear family unit, and how other folks accommodate/support/compliment them. And to some degree, I think mainstream culture is far more supportive of that kind of narcissism than the narcissism of the childfree person who hates children, and thinks those who have children are lesser people in some fashion or another. <br /><br />I don't agree with either extreme, and think that non-judgement and some general sense of kindness and flexibility makes for happier lives and relationships all around. <br /><br />However, in this particular discussion, I think there's more pressure on childless folks to shift and change. To do something more to "prove" they're adults or prove that they aren't "selfish" or lacking in some sense. <br /><br />Nearly all of my friendships where the other person or couple had children are mostly gone. The reasons are various, but for the most part we just drifted apart. Because those first few years are time consuming for parents, and it just seems like they wanted to spend their bit of free time with other parents. Perhaps to share care giving duties or commiserate. I never felt shamed or considered lesser by any of these friends. It's more like I was forgotten, which is understandable, but I also know a fair number of parents who have very wide friendship circles. So, in some ways the "dropping" childless friends is a choice, probably not really conscious, but still a decision none the less. <br /><br />The debate on the Huffpost article brings up something I have experienced several times. The idea that folks without children know "nothing or next to nothing" about children. When I've been told that, I sometimes bring up the fact that I spent several years educating, and caring for children in school and treatment settings. Which usually brings something like "that's nothing like being a parent." Never mind that with the children in treatment settings, it was precisely awful parenting that landed those kids in my care (and all the other staff's care). <br /><br />It seems like there are more vocal and outrageous childfree types these days asserting selfish statements and judgments, but the balance is still far more in the other direction. <br /><br />Nathanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13920234350446745482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-70963440428544418412013-01-25T06:40:06.150-08:002013-01-25T06:40:06.150-08:00I also write for BrooklineHub.com and am available...I also write for BrooklineHub.com and am available for freelance projects. Why do you ask?Jennifer Campaniolohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01584812688202324497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-49327531884906298642013-01-25T03:35:44.116-08:002013-01-25T03:35:44.116-08:00Do you generally write only for your site or you d...Do you generally write only for your site or you do that for other Internet or offline networks?FunTimeKiller Bloghttp://funtimekiller.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-67794524700771592282013-01-24T05:48:51.092-08:002013-01-24T05:48:51.092-08:00So interesting, and true. And this process goes on...So interesting, and true. And this process goes on even after your parents pass. My parent's have been gone over twenty years, and I still prepare Holidays surprises and every days ideas, my Mom used to do. And, as for my Firefighter Dad, I get overwhelmed with happiness just walking into a firehouse. I know people who have made a special place, in there garden, or a destination to travel, for the memory of there parent's. This, instead of a cemetery. Remember, a cemetery is a conglomeration of families, not a personal place just for your mom or dad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-66848317963864115772012-02-27T12:49:19.138-08:002012-02-27T12:49:19.138-08:00So beautiful!So beautiful!Jomonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03818154506923405253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-9333773900001212472012-02-26T15:26:04.155-08:002012-02-26T15:26:04.155-08:00It sounds like a small piece of heaven. May you e...It sounds like a small piece of heaven. May you enjoy many moments like those!Lavanahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295089071497942411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-38781836129438156842011-11-24T16:31:30.773-08:002011-11-24T16:31:30.773-08:00For one, I like to make sure that I never get caug...For one, I like to make sure that I never get caught in the consumer frenzy! I buy the gifts that I truly want to give and get done before Thanksgiving. That way I can spend the holiday season doing things that matter and spending time with people who matter. Yes, it is different than when I was a kid, but it is not less meaning full. Yes, I have my own children and a faith which helps make the holidays bright, but I find that it is more about my attitude and willingness to just be peaceful this time of year that really brings me joy.<br />Happy Holidays...NatureGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04783548641415184538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-57860613517936049122011-11-17T14:57:18.929-08:002011-11-17T14:57:18.929-08:00Thanks, Jen! Wittily and wisely written -- I enjoy...Thanks, Jen! Wittily and wisely written -- I enjoyed hearing about this site, even if I'm terribly afraid to get involved in looking at it myself, haha -- for fear of getting obsessed, that is :). Always look forward to your posts about contemporary life and its foibles!Catherine Arnoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16639990941083756081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-33984116679354010682011-09-29T22:42:33.502-07:002011-09-29T22:42:33.502-07:00I love the new format. Very pretty. You seem to ...I love the new format. Very pretty. You seem to be an important person in her life, and endeavoring to remain authentic, without getting sucked into some drama-triangle drama. Boundaries are a way to express love sometimes.Jomonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03818154506923405253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-60879244844571665882011-09-16T18:13:30.345-07:002011-09-16T18:13:30.345-07:00Except you've got some great posts here! I ha...Except you've got some great posts here! I haven't caught up with you in a while. I can SO identify with this one!Jomonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03818154506923405253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-34369809835522272011-08-03T15:03:59.443-07:002011-08-03T15:03:59.443-07:00That gives me another 16 years to peak!That gives me another 16 years to peak!Lavanahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295089071497942411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-89341461933781546482011-08-03T14:09:53.609-07:002011-08-03T14:09:53.609-07:00I agree!
Visit:
http://bythecanonviewfinder.blog...I agree!<br /><br />Visit:<br /><br />http://bythecanonviewfinder.blogspot.com/LR Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01634383283728817474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-89929665392352656412011-07-03T17:44:10.013-07:002011-07-03T17:44:10.013-07:00This is a really powerful practice. I am glad you...This is a really powerful practice. I am glad you are sharing your experience of it. Thank you!Jomonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03818154506923405253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-932069981249779222011-07-03T14:20:09.564-07:002011-07-03T14:20:09.564-07:00Thanks for your words. Money is indeed something w...Thanks for your words. Money is indeed something which is on my mind, too...Suecae Soundshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04949168285331693357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-52897498924963753832011-07-03T09:04:38.967-07:002011-07-03T09:04:38.967-07:00Beautiful, and of course also to not be taken lite...Beautiful, and of course also to not be taken literally and in an absolute sense.<br /><br />There are time when living with the mess is the best way to be in the moment, out of loving heart. I am thinking of ones raising young children or caring for elders with dementia. Prioritizing, not driving oneself crazy with too much neatness, attending to the essential when the demands of life become too much.Marguerite Manteau-Raohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17956537059369707663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-77990754566500121862011-06-15T16:26:31.370-07:002011-06-15T16:26:31.370-07:00Sometimes when I think about dying I wonder if no ...Sometimes when I think about dying I wonder if no one thinks of me if that's the same as leaving no trace?Levihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07369763028982948026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-19697078005889408232011-06-15T15:23:23.873-07:002011-06-15T15:23:23.873-07:00Funnily enough I have been thinking about Leave No...Funnily enough I have been thinking about Leave No Trace lately as well. Maybe I'll try the exercise! My apartment could certainly use the love.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00989129017295322282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-66267934858197325642011-06-13T18:25:30.404-07:002011-06-13T18:25:30.404-07:00Very touching post. I applaud you for posting such...Very touching post. I applaud you for posting such raw emotions. As for myself what helped me understand peace and attain it is constant silence and meditation. My few <a href="http://www.theartofhappiness.net/buddha-paintings.htm" rel="nofollow">Buddhist art</a> collection has helped me feel inspired and uplifted.Renz Alcantarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17607558523475419652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-14306330524265879882011-06-05T12:21:52.709-07:002011-06-05T12:21:52.709-07:00this is a beautiful post. I admire you being able ...this is a beautiful post. I admire you being able to pour out your vulnerability and acknowledge your feelings and do something about it.I know its part of growing up, and practicing mindfulness through meditation has also helped me, in a way, to understand my past actions and why I am the person I am now.Salinyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11521842107366859035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-58058289495126068802011-06-03T04:29:15.801-07:002011-06-03T04:29:15.801-07:00ditto what bookbird said! I didn't know you ha...ditto what bookbird said! I didn't know you had this blog, Jennifer. Glad to have found it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-18838587055610325852011-06-02T16:29:52.732-07:002011-06-02T16:29:52.732-07:00You look a lot(!)younger than me, and I still stru...You look a lot(!)younger than me, and I still struggle - say instead "work" - with my moods, impulsiveness, and so on. Not to overcome the self, more to notice what it's up to now. It's like, Oh, there's more of my stuff. I thought I cleaned that closet out.Jeanne Desyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07800258273705288582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-12476018314872387602011-05-31T01:10:51.450-07:002011-05-31T01:10:51.450-07:00this is a beautiful and vulnerable post. I really ...this is a beautiful and vulnerable post. I really enjoy hearing the way your mind translates to words. <br /><br />Thankyou for sharing and I am glad you are writing :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04122762432900082546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-57015234754157397712011-05-16T18:45:10.579-07:002011-05-16T18:45:10.579-07:00the name Carmelita is the cutest!! More pictures p...the name Carmelita is the cutest!! More pictures please! I think dogs are good for the soul. <br />p.s. In my view, dogs are still easier than children, and cost less too! heheAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04122762432900082546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-50414474422935051302011-05-05T16:20:28.707-07:002011-05-05T16:20:28.707-07:00What a timely piece this was for me today. At 6:00...What a timely piece this was for me today. At 6:00am this morning our five month old (housebroken, I thought) pup jumped on the spare bed and peed, right in front me. Obviously I was to slow getting her out for her morning constitutional, but on the bed, really? But at the end of the day, coming home to a creature that reacts like a rock star walked into the room is, as you say, priceless.MJ in MAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14467444360257625260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1614933425927801239.post-15396166638135751622011-04-09T08:04:51.629-07:002011-04-09T08:04:51.629-07:00Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes it is the sm...Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes it is the small things or even the almost mundane things of ordinary life that keep us going in the face of trial or tragedy. I recall seeing even in the tent cities in Haiti after the quake people totally displaced and without any comforts, trying to make life as "normal" as possible. <br /><br />If we can remember to look for the extraordinary in our ordinary lives perhaps tragedy will seem less frightening. Thanks again...NatureGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04783548641415184538noreply@blogger.com